Houses of the Holy: A Bubba the Monster Hunter Novella by John G. Hartness

Author:John G. Hartness [Hartness, John G.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Falstaff Books
Published: 2021-02-18T05:00:00+00:00

10

And that’s how I ended up blindfolded, gagged, and zip-tied to a chair in an abandoned warehouse with two truly giant Samoan-looking dudes and one nebbishy shithead with crappy taste in pizza. As soon as I broke free of the chair, I pounced on Nebbishy Guy, the one who’d been interrogating me. And by “pounced” I mean “kinda half-stood up half fell forward onto the jerk in front of me.”

That probably saved me a lot of pain and twitching because the two thugs I’d named Righty and Lefty based on where they stood swung their stun batons at my body as soon as I exploded out of the chair. Since I didn’t do things the easy way and stand up like a normal human being, their aim was off and I didn’t get fifty thousand volts of electricity jammed into each of my shoulders. Instead, I sprawled on the floor on top of the red-faced douchebag who had just been screaming questions at me.

While that wasn’t comfortable, it didn’t really hurt, and I was able to roll off Screamy Guy and flex my legs enough to get the bottom of the chair broken into manageable pieces. I was still zip-tied to it, but now it was more like arm- and shin-guards than a chair. Righty jabbed down at me with his stun baton, and I rolled to the left, putting me right back on top of Screamy Guy. I heard the slap of shoe leather on the concrete next to me and knew that Lefty would be taking his shot, and I kept rolling left to avoid the other stun baton. I also managed to bring my knee up to grind Screamy Guy’s nuts into the floor as I rolled off him.

Screamy’s high-pitched wail of agony shifted into a pale whimper as Lefty nailed him in the side with the stunstick. I was all the way over onto my back by this point, and the big goon was overbalanced in his zest to shock the shit out of me, making it pretty simple to raise a big ol’ foot and gently (okay, not really gently) shove him over into his pal, Righty. They went down in a massive tangle of shock batons, surplus black suits from the Big & Tall store, and profanity.

I struggled to my feet and looked at the carnage I had wreaked. Screamy was lying flat on his back, just twitching and grabbing his balls. Righty and Lefty were trying to get themselves untangled from one another so they could come at me again, and I still had pieces of furniture tied to my forearms and lower legs. I decided to take advantage of that and took a few steps forward, kicking Lefty in the ribs as he got up onto his hands and knees.

This bowled him over and squashed the breath out of Righty, who had been pushing himself up on one elbow. He splattered back to the concrete, and I dropped to one knee and buried my wood-armored forearm in Lefty’s forehead.

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